MEET TED

"Ahem. Attention please. I'd like to introduce to you to TED."

TED wants to meet you too.

If you've already met TED, then you know the value of the meeting.

Meet TED here.

For those of you who want to cut to the chase right away, TED stands for Technology, Entertainment, and Design, and it is a consortium and "Brain Trust" of the world's greatest thinkers and innovators in a broad range of fields. Each year great thinkers are asked to give a TED Talk which is an 18 minute speech on their specialty/passion. The results have been pretty amazing.

Here is a highlight reel of the Top 10 TED Talk's from 2006-2008:
http://www.ted.com/talks/top10

I discovered TED while doing some educational research on thinking. It's one of the top websites in the nation, but I had never heard of it before yesterday.

Please note, though: I do not know TED's political leaning, and I do not subscribe to Al Gore's discourse, but I do know that, aside from his talk, the information from the other speakers is fabulous. Don't let your political feelings blur the value of this website. It's about innovation in so many areas, and we all need to be inspired!

You simply MUST check it out: http://www.ted.com/talks/top10

LIKE THE MUSIC?

Finally!

I added a free music Playlist to my blog here.

What do you think?

The first song up is one you may not be familiar with, but Misty Edwards is a phenomenal worshipper and psalmist. It takes a few seconds for the song to come up, but it is well worth it to listen.

Another artist I'm loving is Robin Thicke. He is R&B and soul/jazz. He isn't a Christian artist like Misty, but his song "Lost Without You" and his newest album and first song "Magic" are just so very smooth. They go down so nicely. : )

Feel free to link over and make a Playlist for yourself if you like. It's easy and free.

I also have posted a few new pictures of me and Riley on here. Kinda neat, I thought.

I think I've broken a record for number of posts in a short amount of time. That's not usually me. I usually don't post this often. I'll enjoy it while I can. : )

Hope all is well with everyone and that your summer is simply smashing (in a good way!)!

HAPPY FOURTH of JULY!

Happy Fourth of July, Everyone!

By the way, I just added three new posts, so feel free to go back a few posts. : )

YES, I DID!

I did something I haven't done in years.

Uh-huh.

I went to a live concert tonight. LOL!

Maybe that isn't a big deal to you guys, but I haven't been to a live concert since I saw Sade and Basia back in the 90s.

Oh, I have gone to a few mega Christian conferences/services and Contemporary Christian music venues since then, but I haven't been to a bonafide popular or "secular" (if you want to call it that for lack of a better word) music concert since, like, 1994.

Who did I see and where did I go, you ask?

First let me say that I got to go free. My neighbor surprised me with the gift and blessing of a free ticket. She and another friend were going, and she wanted me to come too! How nice!

We saw Edwin McCain at the House of Blues here in Myrtle Beach. . .and he was GREAT!

He is really good in concert. Very acoustic and soulful.

He is known for "Love Suicide" and "Could Not Ask for More." Those songs have really become classics.

Go see him if you get a chance. :)

I'm trying to post pictures from my cell phone, but my cell phone is blocking my attempts to e-mail the photos from the concert to my e-mail address. If I can get them to finally send, I will post my pictures of Edwin McCain and the concert on this blog. My friends and I were front and center. I literally could have reached out to touch him (not that I wanted to) we were that close.

If I can't get the pictures to post, I'll go to YouTube or MySpace and post a video or live concert footage from there.

The concert was great, and I loved going! Many thanks to M for the ticket!

"Love Suicide" is above at the beginning of this post. Below is "Could Not Ask for More" (Live footage from 2006 not last night - His hair is short now, and he is thinner.) followed by "Take Me" which is more live footage from Edwin McCain last year at The House of Blues here in MB:





[On a side note: I'm having issues all the way around with posting pictures here at Blogger. It is VERY, VERY frustrating. My own computer is blocking my attempts on Blogger to post. In order to get the previous pictures of my gorgeous friend to post, I had to write and post that blog from another computer. That's the pits. Anyone have an idea why I'm having trouble with posting pictures?]

MY LOVELY, LOVELY FRIEND

I just have to take a moment to gawk at how gorgeous my dear friend is. I just saw these new pictures of her, and once again, I am in awe of her beauty.

I'll even devote this post to just commenting on how simply beautiful, strong, compassionate, and deeply spiritual she is.

I know all this because we've been friends for many years now. I know the fruits of her character and work.

I've always known her to be beautiful.

Heck, there's not a time that we'd go out that some woman or man (mostly women, interestingly) would comment on how gorgeous she is. The men don't always speak up like the women, but they always turn their heads and stare. They gawk too.

She gets compared to Angelina Jolie frequently. I see some Julia Roberts there myself, but, really, she's my dearest friend, so they look like her to me. : )

The funniest part of the whole scenario has always been that she is a minister - and a passionate and fiery one at that! She is so down-to-earth and not about "all the looks" which makes her even more beautiful. She's not high maintenance either. She's also married, so, sorry, Guys.

We live in different states now since I moved to the beach three years ago, but we have made time to see one another each year (sometimes twice) and we talk and e-mail regularly. It is always wonderful when we're together. Always.

I really love her deeply. She is a true friend and a real gift from God. Truly.

She doesn't even know that I'm thinking about her right now and that I wrote this post admiring her physical, emotional, and spiritual beauty, but I know. . .

And now you do too. : )

TROUBLING

This is something I wish I wasn't writing about, but I'm also very thankful that nothing serious came from it.

I do think, however, that it is truly a comment on our culture and "times."

On Tuesday I was returning to the high school where I teach from a morning Teacher Training Session at our large District Office across the county. I was turning right with the right-of-way at a traffic light in the town where I teach.

A middle-aged man (30s/40s) in a baseball cap in a large, older truck turned in front of me while I was turning. He forced his way into the lane and not only nearly hit me, but he also practically side-swiped the whole driver side of my car.

I honked.

That is all I did. I honked. I didn't flip him off (not that I would anyway). I didn't curse at him.

I just honked.

The next thing I know, the man slammed on his brakes, threw his truck into park, opened his truck door, got out of the vehicle, and started walking toward me.

This is all in the middle of downtown on a two-lane city street with cars all around.

I knew what was going to happen next. I knew he was going to beat me up. I knew he was coming to have a physical altercation with me.

I'll be honest. I was scared. He looked like a rough red neck, and I looked like easy prey.

I started praying in tongues under my breath, because I thought to myself that I'm either going to get beat up or shot.

I don't know what happened next, but when he got to my car door rolling his sleeves up and looking furious, he stopped, paused, looked in my back seat, said he hadn't seen my car turning (not true), turned around, and walked back to his truck.

That was it.

I've never been so thankful. . .

And I've never been so confused about two things:

(1) What did he see in my backseat? An angel? A large man? (Really, I don't know, but I don't care, because I do believe God was looking out for me somehow and some way. I'm happy too that my face didn't get rearranged.)

(2) Can a driver not honk at another driver who was in the wrong and nearly caused a serious accident for fear of road rage? What has our society come to that a "honk" entitles another person to threaten someone? Why in the heck is everyone so ready to fight and come to blows over anything and everything? I'm just so confused and still a little scared about this.

Since Tuesday, I have thought a great deal about this situation.

I am so thankful for God's protection, but I'm also a little scared about the quickness of people's rage.

Are we all on the brink of breaking?

Here in my area two weeks ago, three high school students were arrested for shooting a college student down at a beach house over an argument over a parking spot.

Yes. Over a parking spot.

Four promising young lives ruined OVER A PARKING SPOT.

Pardon me while I scratch my head.

MORE SEXY MEN

All right, all right.

You called me on my previous post which said "Sexy Men," and I only showed you one, but what a "one" that was. Yum. Yum. Go back one post to see those delicious pictures of Michael C. Hall.

The pictures above are more men who I think rank right up there as waaaaaay sexy. I can't put one finger on what makes them so "sexy" to me, but there is this general quality that makes them incredibly gorgeous, intelligent, confident, and seemingly accessible all at the same time.

Their "sexiness" is in no particular order. LOL!

** Pierce Brosnan (played Remington Steele and James Bond in previous years

** Tom Welling (plays Clark Kent on CW's "Smallville")

** John Krasinski (plays Jim Halpert on NBC's "The Office")

** Josh Holloway (plays Sawyer on ABC's "Lost")

** Patrick Dempsey (I've loved his quirky sexiness since back in his 80's films and long before "Grey's Anatomy").

** John Schneider (played Bo Duke on "The Dukes of Hazzard" and Jonathan Kent on "Smallville" and he is STILL sexy after all these years - and it's even sexier that he is still with his long-time wife!)

SEXY MEN

A few of the ladies did a tag listing their 15 Top Sexy Men. (Thank you, Autumn!)

Maybe I could just show a total of 15 different pictures of a few of my favorites. . .

Sure there are plenty of sexy men out there, but I'm feeling particular about a handful.

You'll notice that I seem to have a thing for "quirky" men with sex appeal. Yum!

For this blog, I think I'll just share pictures of one of my current favorites.

Here goes:

#1 - Michael C. Hall (Stars on ABC's "Dexter" and formerly on "Six Feet Under" which I never saw)






I'll have a cup of coffee with him any day - ANY DAY. :)


What a view from that window!

PROUD OF MYSELF

Now, this is probably not anything earth-shattering for most of you, but I actually did my own taxes tonight for the first time in over twelve years. Twelve years because for the last eleven years up until last year, I've been married and my husband wanted his accountant to handle the taxes.

Now that I'm single and doing everything on my own, back in February when I first received my W-2 forms, I went to H&R Block to have them do my taxes with the idea in mind that I was getting a Refund.

WRONG. :(

They said I owed. Hmph. Very unexpected and depressing news. : )

To rectify the high amount owed due to an underpayment of my taxes because my marital status (married to single) changed last year, the H&R Block person was so nice and recommended I just file electronically closer to April 15th (tomorrow - I'm close!) when I could set some money aside to pay toward the total amount.

I didn't file electronically, but I have filled out all the paperwork and what makes me so happy is that my numbers DOING IT ALL BY MYSELF ON PAPER came out to exactly what the H&R Block computer and accountant came up with for me back in February.

This is a big deal for me because I definitely have an English Teacher's mind. I don't lean well toward tax accounting or number crunching in general. If it isn't basic math calculations (and maybe some basic Algebra and Geometry - my favorite), it usually reads like Greek to me. I was always horrible with word problems, and tax forms are like hellish word problems to me. They just seem so confusing, and the more I would try to understand in the past, the more confused I would get.

Not so this time! It all worked out, even with the "go here" and "fill out this extra form" or "do this calculation." My numbers were right!!!

Of course, as happy as I am about the numbers matching exactly, I am also reminded that those numbers mean a deficit in my pocket and paycheck.

The numbers do match, but mean I owe.

Urgh.

Oh well. I'm happy that I was able to do it myself.

I even took a picture of myself with the finished results to post here. If you don't see it right now, I'll post it tomorrow. It's just a silly little picture of me with a big smile and my paperwork, but no details from the returns visible.

I might not be good with numbers, but I have some idea THAT would add up to no good on someone's part.

Happy Tax Day, Friends!

RESTLESS

I'm feeling restless for some reason.

I've been on an antibiotic now for about three weeks, and I have three more weeks to go for a total of six weeks. The doctors say that I have chronic sinusitis along with a resurregence of allergies. This is hard with the Type 1 Diabetes, because getting sick is cyclical - get sick, feel bad, blood sugars go up, feel worse, get sicker, etc.

I still have to work my full time teaching job in order to live and support myself, and that wears me out too. I also tutor after school and teach Summer School.

I'm not saying this for you to feel sorry for me - by no means.

I just have a hard time understanding CAPABLE people who CAN work, but choose not to and have EVERY excuse in the book why they can't and then live off the government, the middle class paycheck, and/or others who do work.

Sadly, I see a lot of these people.

I don't mean those who need a temporary hand to get back up on their feet. We all understand that. I mean those who live in an entitled way and feel that they deserve to be cared for just because they were born.

I don't get any assistance for having Type 1 Diabetes, and I feel pretty lethargic and sometimes downright lousy on many (if not most) days, but I still get up, put on a happy face, love on my students, put my all and energy into teaching, tutor after school, and teach in the summer too.

I just see so many capable young people and adults who just want to sit around, eat, and socialize all day, and that is their main ambition because they know they'll be provided for and live off some other entity. That would be fine if they were picking up the tab, but most of these are not.

I can't solve the totality of this problem, and I guess I just felt the need to speak on this topic tonight, but some days I just feel the weight of living and working and wonder why it feels like trudging through mud to get through a day and then I see some of these others living relatively carefree on others' blood, sweat, and tears.

************************************
If you knew me in the flow of my life, you would know that I'm not judgmental and very understanding and that I totally love and would give and do anything for my students, but sometimes I get down when I see why they don't have more ambition to do better.

I guess I end up venting and sharing my disappointment here in this blog sometimes.

I digress, though, because I actually was writing about something else.

************************************
After I have taken the several weeks of antibiotics, this is the first time in a long while that my body feels pretty good - not lethargic, not exhausted. This has been over the last couple of days.

I am highly appreciative and thankful of this.

At the same time, though, I am incredibly "restless" about something that I can't put my finger on.

I feel restless - not settled, and I don't understand what it pertains to. This is odd for me.

This is just me writing this down, so that I can try to understand this "restlessness."

I'll keep praying about it too.

Change My Photo?

Should I change my Profile Picture?

I've had the other one up since I joined Blogger last September.

I took this picture today after work. It has my new glasses.

Tell me what you think and if you have a preference.

By the way, I was on the beach all day yesterday, and I actually have a horrible, horrible sun burn on my back and arms. I even used sunscreen, but I was out so long on an overcast day that the sun got the better of me.

My face is mildly sunburned here. Is it noticeable?

Thanks for your thoughts.

PIGS ARE FLYING!

The expression "When pigs fly. . ." denotes something coming true that seemed impossible.

I am here to tell you that pigs must be flying, and, no, it's not because I recently did some baking (which I'm actually good at).

Why are pigs flying?

I have discovered a low-fat, high-fiber brownie recipe that also naturally includes protein! YES!

Do you see my lovely pictures above? Those are pictures of my SECOND batch of Black Bean Brownies! They were so good the first time that I made a second batch today!

Don't let the name throw you off. If you didn't know they had Black Beans in them, you wouldn't know they had Black Beans in them. : ) You would NEVER guess. I dare you to try the recipe and see for yourself. The texture is a little more moist than the standard brownie recipe, but who wouldn't like moister brownies?

Some years ago I saw a show where a lady lost weight and she sited a chocolate cake recipe where she used beans. I have tried for a long time to find any such recipe, and I never could until I saw this brownie recipe on SparkPeople.com last month.

I love brownies, and this makes me feel less guilty about enjoying them, and they really do taste delicious.

Here is the recipe from www.sparkpeople.com :

BLACK BEAN BROWNIES

1 -15 oz can Black Beans (drained and rinsed well)
4 large eggs
1/2 cup granulated Splenda (I have used a 1/2 cup sugar instead.)
3 tbsp cocoa powder
2 tbsp strong coffee or espresso (or 1 tbsp instant coffee dissolved in 1 tbsp hot water)
1 tsp baking powder
2 tbsp canola or olive oil (I use vegetable oil.)
1 tsp vanilla

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Prepare an 8x8 baking pan by spraying it with cooking spray.
Mix all ingredients in a food processor or blender. (I use a Magic Bullet.)
Add the beans last and make sure you blend VERY well.

Bake for 30 minutes, or until toothpick comes out clean. (I have had to bake for 40 minutes in my oven.)

These brownies are delicious hot out of the oven or cooled down!

Try this recipe and tell me what you think!

I LOVE FLOWERS!

The flowers above were sent to me by my dear friend Aimee last week (Thursday, March 20^th) to let me know that she was thinking of me. That was SOOOO sweet of her.

I LOVE FLOWERS! Yes, I know they die, and they are a luxury, but I still love them, and I'm always thankful when I receive them (which doesn't happen often, but it only takes once to make me happy!). When Green and I met, he brought me those gorgeous roses all the way from New England, so I've been very blessed with flowers in the past year!

I am one of those girls who loves flowers and floral arrangements. I'm not a garden gal. I definitely don't have a green thumb. I like the flowers when they are already in a nice arrangement. Oh, I do appreciate flowers in a garden, but I have no interest in keeping and maintaining a garden myself. Make sense?

When JLee received flowers after her surgery, she posted a picture of her flower arrangement, so I'm doing the same. I posted the picture of the roses that Green got me back in November, so that picture is there as well.

As you can see, I included a picture of my Riley "smelling the tulip." I think he would have liked to have eaten the tulip, but I just let him smell the flowers. He REALLY enjoyed smelling those flowers! REALLY, REALLY enjoyed it! Westies are actually known for their "Terrier-desire" to eat flower gardens, but my lovely arrangement was not his dinner or dessert. Thank goodness! : )

For those of you who reached out to me after my Father's death, let me say Thank You again. I really appreciate your kindness. Your words were like verbal flowers! Those are the everlasting flowers that create a bouquet in the heart!

THE PARADOX: LIFE GOES ON

The picture of Riley and me was taken yesterday. We were just goofing off with the camera. He was more interested in retrieving his tennis ball, and that was what he was looking at.

The glass frames are new, because I had had my other lenses and frames for over four years, and I just couldn't see out of them anymore. I was even having double vision which turned out to be the non-glare coating on my old lenses breaking down. Who knew that the lens coating starts breaking down after a year? My new optometrist in this area told me that he doesn't even offer the coating on the glasses he sells for that very reason. Who knew?

Note to Green: I tried several pairs of the no-frame glass types, and they didn't look right on me. The frameless glasses just looked "blah" on me, even though you look terrific and so handsome in yours. ; ) Even the two assistances said that I look better with the "pop" of color from the frames, and I know they weren't saying that for monetary reasons, because the frames I bought were actually less expensive than the frameless. Those frameless glasses aren't inexpensive.

I got the glasses on Monday, before my Father passed away on Tuesday, February 25th.

*******************

As to my Father's passing, I included the picture of the beach bucket by the ocean because I felt like the visual vignette was a gift from God yesterday. The image was taken yesterday, March 1st on the stretch of beach where I walk regularly.

The image of the beach bucket has significance for this reason:

A respected female minister named Dr. Fuschia Pickett has an autobiography entitled Stones of Remembrance. That book is a wonderful read. Dr. Pickett died about two years ago in her 90s, but she was a powerful woman of God in her time.

In the book she talks about a time when the Lord showed her a vision of the choice of having relationship with Him. The Lord showed her a little girl on the beach with a beach bucket. The little girl goes into the surf and gathers water in the beach bucket. She comes safely back to the shore with her bucket, and then God asked Fuschia a question. He asked her if the little girl could say that what was in her bucket was the ocean. Fuschia says, "Of course." The Lord then asked if what was in that bucket was "all" of the ocean. Her response was "Of course not."

The Lord then explained to her that we all have that kind of choice, and God presented her with the options. We can stay safely on the shore with our "bucket of ocean" and call that the ocean, and that is actually correct. That small bucket is the ocean, but it is not the totality of the ocean - just a small portion, but that little portion is "happiness" for a child. The other option is to put the bucket down and rush head first and head-long into the vastness of the ocean. This experience is exhilirating, adventurous, and eternal. We can never run out of exploring this ocean. There are limitless things to see and experience here. THIS is the ocean.

I have returned to this story many times in my life. It has so much application and meaning to me.

When I saw the purple bucket on the ocean yesterday, I knew it had meaning for me - a gift from God, but I now realize that I didn't even fully understand its total implication until today. I know that the bucket was a comforting reminder from the Lord that I do run head-long into the ocean in my love and search for Him. I felt that the bucket was a confirmation from God that He is and always was and will be my Father.

The other way I realized the bucket's meaning was in terms of my own earthly Father. I feel like the Lord was saying to me that Dad put down that "limited bucket of God" when he passed on this week and ran head-long into the arms and ocean of God's love. It was as if I saw my Father experience "abandon" for the first time. It was like I saw my Father as a happy and carefree child. It was a large comfort.

Thank you for letting me share this with you.

Here's to abandon and that glorious, expansive "ocean" of a loving heart we can call Abba Father.

My prayer is that we all get "lost" in that love.

HOLDING STEADY!

"THE PLAN" - DAY 21

Just wanted to include an update here on my progress on my weight loss plan:

I am currently "holding steady" at last week's statistics (Weight: 206).

I haven't lost any weight this week, but I didn't gain any weight this week either.

I'll take whatever small accomplishment I can rally.

By the way, isn't the cartoon to the left cute?

More to come. . .

*************

Congratulations to Green and his New England Patriots for their win yesterday!

On to the Super Bowl!

Who Doubted it?

*************

Happy Martin Luther King, Jr. Day to Everyone!

We all should have the same dream that a man or woman is known by the content of his or her character. . .

I VOTED!

I voted today!

Yes, it's a Saturday, and an unusually cold (42!) and quite rainy (here on the coast) Saturday at that, but I definitely voted in my South Carolina Republican Primary.

I would like my vote to count in a majority manner, but based on what I have been hearing for days from "polling" on the news and media, I am in the Republican minority in voting for Rudy Giuliani.

My vote for Rudy is based on a few simple reasons: (a) He is about strong national security which is a definite issue for me; (b) He turned New York City's economic spiral around when he was Mayor, and I believe he can do the same for our country; (c) He is known for his ability to work, problem-solve, and get things accomplished with Democrats as well as Republicans since that is what he did in New York since most of the members below him were Democrats; (d) He is a man of action and about solutions; (e) He believes in minimal government (unlike Obama and Clinton who have these "grand" plans, but who is going to pay for their plans? Us.); (f) He has a reasonable and effective tax plan; and (g) He has a well-thought-out immigration policy.

Rudy has not solicited or "stumped" for votes in South Carolina at all. He hasn't done that in any state except for Florida, and it seems to have hurt him based on what the media has had to say. I hope this isn't the case, and that his campaign success will turn around in Florida and the February 5th states.

There are a couple of positive ways to look at his choosing not to campaign in the early Primary and Caucus: (1) He is being financially responsible with the campaign's money and budget, and (2) If this approach succeeds, he will be seen as a smart planner and time-manager. (The flip side of #2, though, is that if this approach doesn't work, it will be seen as a monumental failure for a man who could have won.)

No, I am not bothered by his three marriages. More than half of America has been divorced at least once, sometimes more. I am not crazy about his current wife, but I don't see her as an intrusive force in his campaign or possible-Presidency (unlike Fred Thompson's campaign).

I always take my vote as a serious responsibility and as both a privilege and a right.

Yes, I voted today, and although my candidate may not win here in South Carolina tonight, at least I let his campaign know that there are some of us out here who think he would make a good President.

My vote still feels good.

TERRIFIC! FIVE POUNDS LOST!

DAY 13 of THE PLAN:

Weight: 206.8 (Down 5.2 pounds from 212!)
Measurements:
Neck: 14.5 (Down .2 of an inch from 14.7!)
Biceps: 14.5
Waist: 39.7 (Down .3 of an inch from 40!)
Forearms: L9.5/R9.6
Hips: 47
Thighs: L25.5/R24.5 (Down a half inch on both!)
Calves: L15.5/R15

My previous weight loss blog was a bit depressing since it seemed that I had gained two pounds, but I am back with much better news!

As you can see from the information above, the scale and statistics show that I've lost five (5!) pounds and roughly a half inch.

This may not be earth-shattering to most, but it is good news for me, especially with the Type 1 Diabetes. I'll take any success no matter how small right now.

SparkPeople.com!!

While I am hailing my small victory in weight loss, I HAVE to tell you about this amazing website called SparkPeople.com. Credit must go to DaBich here on Blogger for telling me about this online community.

Please take time to stop by and visit whether you need to lose weight or you want to be encouraged in your already healthy lifestyle. The site is phenomenally organized and very thematic. There are so many tools and success stories. There are numerous "Teams" and "Communities" with Message Boards and incentives. The whole website is incredibly motivating!

I am really excited about finding the website (as you can tell)! Join me if you like!

Until next time. . .

I hope you'll be seeing "less" of me! [Wink. Wink.]

Just So You Know. . .

As an additional note to today's blog and just in case any of you were wondering, Green and I mutually decided some weeks back that, for this season in our lives, we are best served being good friends. I do count Green as a true friend, and I have the utmost respect for him. There will be no change in our interaction here on Blogger, since we mutually came to this decision, and we still very much enjoying conversing. Green is a kind and wonderful man, and what you see on this blog is just a nice slice of who he really is. Rest assured, we should all be proud to count him as our friend.

ON DECEMBER 26th - MY BIRTHDAY

This is a picture of me on my birthday on December 26th. The picture was taken at Fort Sumter in Charleston, South Carolina by Green.






Fort Sumter actually sits on and makes up a whole small island in Charleston Harbor on the way out to the Atlantic Ocean. It is literally a fort which encircles the entire island. The first shots of the Civil War were fired here, and we happened to visit the Fort on the anniversary of it first being occupied on December 26th.


Green took the above picture of me on the second story overlook. I sent him all of the pictures of him, and he says that he is going to post them, but he hasn't yet, so I'm posting one of him here. He likes history and especially the Civil War, so visiting Charleston was right up his alley.







Green is actually QUITE photogenic, and all the pictures of him are really good. He is entirely too modest about how good he looks in pictures. I wish he would post some of his pictures for you to see. I don't know why he has delayed.





Perhaps we should ask him. . .



********************** ME TODAY:

This last picture is of me and my puppy today - actually just a few minutes ago. I'm just adding it because I feel like it. . .Enough of a reason. : )

DISGUSTING

"The Plan" - Day Five (5)

I'm stressed.

I'm disgusted with myself.

This has been one of the hardest weeks I've ever had in my life (and I've had some hard ones previously).

I make a New Year's Resolution, and all *?#! breaks loose.

I shouldn't be surprised, though. Besides this Weight Loss Plan, I am on a 21 Day Fast for spiritual reasons. I have given up one of my favorite items that I could have had in abundance on the Weight Loss Plan, but I'm giving it up to gain more clarity in a certain area and be more sensitive to God's voice and design in my life. I should have known that whenever I start a fast all hell really does seem to break loose. I must remember "to count it all joy" (or at least the working of greater joy in my life). It's still rough, though.

The picture I have posted above comes from another Faculty member who took my picture at an early December Winter Formal Dance at the high school where I teach. I posted my own pictures to this event on my December 15th blog.

I am mortified by this picture, but I am also disappointed because the faculty member kept saying what an excellent picture of me it is before I actually saw it myself. I was horrified and wanted to start crying when I finally saw it. Granted, the picture was taken a month ago and the angle wasn't that flattering, BUT it is a traumatizing picture, and it makes me think that I must not see myself as fat as I actually am. That chin scares me. It's worth about four chins, and it makes me think of Santa Claus when Christmas is now over. : (

As to my results for this week, I am baffled. According to the scale I actually added two pounds to my original weight, but according to my Body Fat Percentage, I went down by one percentage point this week. Did I gain that much muscle in a week? I don't think so, and, although I'm thrilled by a lower Body Fat Percentage, I find the scale result disappointing nonetheless.

I'm wondering if the higher stress load this week (I got some unexpected and devastating news that has set me back emotionally) may have caused a release of cortisol and those other "weight holding" hormones. I also didn't weigh myself at the same time today, so that could make a difference too. In the end, it really doesn't matter whether either of those is the cause. Bottom line is that I gained two pounds, lost one percentage point of fat, and feel like I'm off to a failing start in this desperate need to lose weight. I feel like a failure about a lot of things right now, and it's not helping my outlook on life or my hopefulness about a lot of things. I have to remember that today is a new day, and I have to put any setbacks behind me and believe the best and better about myself and my ability to succeed at and with this goal.

Here are the statistics on Day Five (5):

Weight: 212.2 pounds (up from 210.8)

Body Fat %: 44.2 (down from 45.9)

Go figure.

Actually, my mantra should be: "Figure, Go!" Current figure that is.

[Note: I don't know why Blogger sometimes refuses to honor new paragraphing and indentations, but it does. At the time I am posting this, Blogger is not recognizing my actual paragraphing of this post, and I have tried to fix it four times. Does anybody know why it does this? It is a ridiculous issue with this blog site. Is there a fix to the problem?]

OVERHAUL - AN ODE TO THE NY BROOKHAVEN OBESITY CLINIC

Greetings to 2008, and Happy New Year!

** Two Quotes to Think About in the New Year:

We tend to seek Happiness when Happiness is actually a choice.

It takes nothing to Dream and everything not to.

OVERHAUL

My birthday just happened on December 26th, and I am now 37.

Although my life is nowhere near what I envisioned so many years ago, in so many ways it is far better. In other ways, like so many individuals, I have suffered significant loss and have grief for things that have not transpired to this date and age.

Hey, though, that's life.

John Lennon summed it up best in one of his songs written to his son Sean: "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans." (I'm not a particular John Lennon music fan, but I can't get away from this quote, so I quote it frequently.) : )

The tile of this post is "Overhaul," and I know that experts warn not to expect too much or set goals that are too high at the New Year's. I also know that most resolutions are broken within three weeks of January 1st. Yes, I know all this, so why did I title my post "Overhaul - An Ode to NY's Brookhaven Obesity Clinic"?

Because I have to.

No, I've never been to Brookhaven. I've never even laid eyes on the place. No one I know has either.

No, I'm not morbidly obese.

Yes, I'm overweight and fleshy, but if you passed me on the street you'd think I am "average" for the U.S. My dearest friends who know my weight are always shocked when they learn my actual weight. They always insist I "carry" my weight so well. That's nice, but it makes it no healthier for me.

I used to be a Cross Country runner and loved aerobics in high school and college. I'm fortunate that my body type has kept that layer of muscle underneath my layer of fat. This adds to my weight, because muscle is heavier than fat.

I am also a Type 1 Diabetic diagnosed in my early 20s. My pancreas just quit working. I was thin then, so the disease was brought on by genetics and heredity. I started putting on weight when I started taking insulin (a fat storing hormone) and when my marriage became a depressing and debilitating cavern of pain, but. . .

I digress.

This post is an ode to Brookhaven Obesity Clinic, because I know of this place because of The Learning Channel's program about its patients. Brookhaven's patients are morbidly obese with weights of generally 500+ pounds. They're too heavy to even have Gastric Bypass Surgery at their current weights. Wow. Most of the patients, however, don't seem to overcome their food addictions, and after prolonged stays of several months to, in some cases, YEARS, they don't lose the weight and often actually regain any lost weight plus more.

Here's the thing, though: I have to thank this Obesity Clinic for helping me see that even though these patients are horribly overweight, they are merely an exaggerated form of me. How can I judge their need to lose hundreds upon hundreds of pounds when I need to lose my own average amount of weight for my own health and I have been nothing but ineffective at doing it?

I can't believe I'm going to say this in a public forum, but I have to. I can't make excuses, rationalize, or be in denial about this.

I CURRENTLY WEIGH 210.8 POUNDS. I am 5'8" in height.

Gulp.

AT MY HEAVIEST LAST YEAR, I WAS 225 POUNDS.

In 2006, I worked with a Personal Fitness Trainer and lost 27 pounds. I had to stop because I couldn't afford the Trainer's cost anymore on my teaching salary. I should have maintained the weight loss, but I have yo-yoed since then and even ended up in the Intensive Care Unit this past April related to the Diabetes and Salmonella poisoning from a raw egg. Being in the hospital didn't help my morale in the weight loss arena, but I don't want to be there again, so in that way it was a wake-up call too.

I need to lose at least 65 pounds and possibly another 10 to 15 from there. I need to do this for my health more than for the obvious cosmetic reasons which I will love too. What woman doesn't want to feel slim, athletic, desirable, and sexy?

I can't do this without a plan, though, so I've started today, and I'm going to list my plan right here. Failure is assured when not prepared, so I want to be prepared.

THE PLAN:

1. Start the eating plan the Personal Trainer gave me in 2006. It worked with the exercise then, so why not do it again?

2. Record everything I eat in writing in a designated journal. I had to do this last time too. It worked to help me see that I was adhering to the correct foods.

3. Do at least 20 minutes of aerobic exercise five days a week. This gets the heart rate up and increases oxygen flow.

4. Do weights/resistance training at least twice a week (more if possible) to increase muscle mass for higher caloric burning. Invaluable.

5. Record my progress and feelings here on Blogger in writing, in pictures, and/or with a video diary (if I can get the videos to upload properly) weekly. I love "Before and After" stories, so I'd like to be one of those too.

6. Weigh and Measure at least once a month. I don't think it is good to weigh or measure too often since it can be discouraging if done too often, so I'm aiming for once a month, but I may do more. How one's clothes fit tell the story too.

Day One - January 1, 2008:

Weight: 210.8

Measurements: (These are embarrassing, but true!)

Neck: 14.7

Shoulders:

Biceps: 14.5

Waist: 40

Forearms: L9.5/R9.6

Hips: 47

Thighs: L26/R25

Calves: L15.5/R15

Well, here goes everything!