Please indulge me whilst I kick around various thoughts here. . .
[Note: If you're looking for the gratuitious shout-out to Green, scroll down to the end of this post, and you'll be satisfied. Tee-Hee. That's a Green Tee-Hee. (((((Big Hug)))) and : ) Smile!]
************************************
Introducing My Friend Fondue:
My friend - a fellow teacher, gifted artist, creative photographer, and a dedicated Yankees fan (of which I was not completely aware) - decided to join us here at Blogger. She has her own page which I would like to direct you to: www.FonduePrincess.blogspot.com This is of great comfort to me.
Fondue sought me out initially to keep up with me and keep tabs on Green because he was "cutting in" on our friendship time together.
Good friends will do that, you know.
She realized that Green was a Red Sox fan, and, oh boy, are they having "fun" playing off of that age-old Yankees-Red Sox rivalry. Even Fondue's significant other Sean has joined in on the fun. He is a life-long, riotous lover of those Yankees. He is from New York City, and his family still lives there.
I'm sorry, Fondue and Sean, for the Yankee's loss last night after the initial loss.
This is one of those times when I wish I could comfort all those who mourn the loss of their favorite sports teams with wins for everyone, but that isn't the way competitive sports works. The variety of wins and losses makes the experience a full range of emotion.
Green is having a continued glorious time with his Red Sox, though! (And Boston College is doing really well sitting at #7 as well!)
**************************************
On Feeling Like a Failure:
Have you ever felt like a failure?
I do in regard to three things right now.
(1) My sweet, relatively-new-since-July 18th Westie puppy Riley
(2) Using the telephone to reach out to people I do love
(3) My finances
Yes, I feel like a failure in regard to these things.
I hope you don't mind if I divulge.
(1) MY PUPPY: I know that I'm not really a failure in regard to #1. I love my puppy, and I walk him, play with him, love him, feed him, bathe him, get him fun toys, take him to the doctor, and discipline him. I am a huge Cesar Millan fan (National Geographic Channel's "The Dog Whisperer"), and I believe in Cesar's mantra of "Exercise, Discipline, and Affection" in that order. I know that I must be his Pack Leader. I take Cesar's advice seriously, but I guess the learning curve is a lot longer than I thought. Things aren't falling into place quite as quickly as I would have liked. Granted, I've only had him since July 18th, but, still, Cesar makes it look so easy. In five minutes (at max), he can change a dog's life-long bad habits. Riley is a puppy going through a "chewing phase," and my bed set (nice down comforter and pleated bed skirt) has taken the lower brunt of my dog's canines. That's no good.
No good at all.
(2) THE TELEPHONE: The telephone is a little more complicated for me. A lot less straightforward. I am a terrible phone person. TERRIBLE. Not on the phone. I'm fine on the phone. In fact, I'm too fine. I'm a good conversationalist on the phone. If there is silence on the phone (which I hate! HATE!), I fill it up because it makes me uncomfortable. People like to chat on the phone with me, but it typically doesn't take long to realize that I'm hard to get ahold of. It's not anything personal. Really, it isn't. I promise. Some people can multi-task while on the telephone. I'm not really one of those. When you have me in a conversation, I'm all yours. I'm there, and this doesn't translate well on the phone for me if I have a lot of calls from people. I can't even multi-task in relation to listening to phone messages (of which, here recently, I get a lot). The phone feels overwhelming to me very often. Calls. Messages. At the end of a long day at work, I sometimes feel so tired and worn out that the last thing I want to do is talk on the phone (unless, another here recently, it's to Green - talking to him is completely different - completely - and my dearest friends Aimee and Jen).
Here's the catch, though: For my family, the telephone is one of the ways to stay in touch, but I am more of an e-mail and internet kind of person. I e-mail with the best of them. I'll reply to your e-mail in a heartbeat. I'm very good about responding to e-mail, and all of my family has e-mail, BUT (and here is where the problem lies) most of them don't see e-mails as valid as phone calls. I do, though. I know, I know. . .It's not the same as my voice, but I can give you all the info with flair about my life in an e-mail too, I think. When my family speaks of keeping in touch with me, they generally speak angrily that I am not very thoughtful when it comes to the phone and calling them, etc., etc. They are right in the regard that I'm not spot on with returning calls, but not that I don't care. I do care. This neglectful tendency with the phone has always been that way with me - teenager, college, career, etc. That is nothing new nor is it anything personal, but they tend to think in terms of me being a failure in this regard, and they do take it personally.
I really, really love the people who I don't speak with on the phone.
I really do. . .
So, I am currently feeling like a failure in this regard too.
I do care for them.
And I'm asking why I struggle so with the phone?
(3) FINANCES: As hard as I try, I feel like I no sooner get ahead only to fall back to paycheck to paycheck in managing my finances. Routine medical bills with the Type 1 Diabetes, getting sick, my puppy (now), regular bills, debt, housing costs, car payment, car repairs, car upkeep, increased gas cost, classroom supplies - the list goes on. I am fortunate in that I don't have that much debt, but the cost of living swallows up whatever I make. It seems like everything is more expensive every year. I think this is true, but shouldn't inflation be proportional to our paychecks? Anymore, my budget is so tight that it's a luxury - LUXURY - just to go out once in a pay period to a regular (nominal?) restaurant like a TGI Friday's or Olive Garden with my friends. I haven't done this in a very, very long time. VERY LONG. It seems like it's all I can do to buy my groceries and toiletries week to week, let alone go out for a social meal and fellowship with friends. My social meal and friends are at home on the couch with my dog. Hmmmmm. . .
Don't get me wrong. I have a savings account and retirement. I'm not money "dumb," but it just seems harder than ever to manage the finances, you know?
I want the "little" luxuries of dinner with friends, a Green Tea Latte at Starbucks, a night at Barnes and Noble or Books-A-Million, an occasional awesome Christian or Jazz CD or download, and an occasional new book. I want these experiences while I live, but I can't do that AND live - survive - right now.
I haven't done or purchased any of these recently.
I promise.
Ask Green. He knows because we've been on the phone nonstop for practically two months. : )
Well, there you go. It's not earth-shattering. I haven't solved the National Debt.
These are just my three issues that I'm trying to muddle through and get some clarity on.
Any thoughts or suggestions???
***************************************
Green in Blue:
************************************
Introducing My Friend Fondue:
My friend - a fellow teacher, gifted artist, creative photographer, and a dedicated Yankees fan (of which I was not completely aware) - decided to join us here at Blogger. She has her own page which I would like to direct you to: www.FonduePrincess.blogspot.com This is of great comfort to me.
Fondue sought me out initially to keep up with me and keep tabs on Green because he was "cutting in" on our friendship time together.
Good friends will do that, you know.
She realized that Green was a Red Sox fan, and, oh boy, are they having "fun" playing off of that age-old Yankees-Red Sox rivalry. Even Fondue's significant other Sean has joined in on the fun. He is a life-long, riotous lover of those Yankees. He is from New York City, and his family still lives there.
I'm sorry, Fondue and Sean, for the Yankee's loss last night after the initial loss.
This is one of those times when I wish I could comfort all those who mourn the loss of their favorite sports teams with wins for everyone, but that isn't the way competitive sports works. The variety of wins and losses makes the experience a full range of emotion.
Green is having a continued glorious time with his Red Sox, though! (And Boston College is doing really well sitting at #7 as well!)
**************************************
On Feeling Like a Failure:
Have you ever felt like a failure?
I do in regard to three things right now.
(1) My sweet, relatively-new-since-July 18th Westie puppy Riley
(2) Using the telephone to reach out to people I do love
(3) My finances
Yes, I feel like a failure in regard to these things.
I hope you don't mind if I divulge.
(1) MY PUPPY: I know that I'm not really a failure in regard to #1. I love my puppy, and I walk him, play with him, love him, feed him, bathe him, get him fun toys, take him to the doctor, and discipline him. I am a huge Cesar Millan fan (National Geographic Channel's "The Dog Whisperer"), and I believe in Cesar's mantra of "Exercise, Discipline, and Affection" in that order. I know that I must be his Pack Leader. I take Cesar's advice seriously, but I guess the learning curve is a lot longer than I thought. Things aren't falling into place quite as quickly as I would have liked. Granted, I've only had him since July 18th, but, still, Cesar makes it look so easy. In five minutes (at max), he can change a dog's life-long bad habits. Riley is a puppy going through a "chewing phase," and my bed set (nice down comforter and pleated bed skirt) has taken the lower brunt of my dog's canines. That's no good.
No good at all.
(2) THE TELEPHONE: The telephone is a little more complicated for me. A lot less straightforward. I am a terrible phone person. TERRIBLE. Not on the phone. I'm fine on the phone. In fact, I'm too fine. I'm a good conversationalist on the phone. If there is silence on the phone (which I hate! HATE!), I fill it up because it makes me uncomfortable. People like to chat on the phone with me, but it typically doesn't take long to realize that I'm hard to get ahold of. It's not anything personal. Really, it isn't. I promise. Some people can multi-task while on the telephone. I'm not really one of those. When you have me in a conversation, I'm all yours. I'm there, and this doesn't translate well on the phone for me if I have a lot of calls from people. I can't even multi-task in relation to listening to phone messages (of which, here recently, I get a lot). The phone feels overwhelming to me very often. Calls. Messages. At the end of a long day at work, I sometimes feel so tired and worn out that the last thing I want to do is talk on the phone (unless, another here recently, it's to Green - talking to him is completely different - completely - and my dearest friends Aimee and Jen).
Here's the catch, though: For my family, the telephone is one of the ways to stay in touch, but I am more of an e-mail and internet kind of person. I e-mail with the best of them. I'll reply to your e-mail in a heartbeat. I'm very good about responding to e-mail, and all of my family has e-mail, BUT (and here is where the problem lies) most of them don't see e-mails as valid as phone calls. I do, though. I know, I know. . .It's not the same as my voice, but I can give you all the info with flair about my life in an e-mail too, I think. When my family speaks of keeping in touch with me, they generally speak angrily that I am not very thoughtful when it comes to the phone and calling them, etc., etc. They are right in the regard that I'm not spot on with returning calls, but not that I don't care. I do care. This neglectful tendency with the phone has always been that way with me - teenager, college, career, etc. That is nothing new nor is it anything personal, but they tend to think in terms of me being a failure in this regard, and they do take it personally.
I really, really love the people who I don't speak with on the phone.
I really do. . .
So, I am currently feeling like a failure in this regard too.
I do care for them.
And I'm asking why I struggle so with the phone?
(3) FINANCES: As hard as I try, I feel like I no sooner get ahead only to fall back to paycheck to paycheck in managing my finances. Routine medical bills with the Type 1 Diabetes, getting sick, my puppy (now), regular bills, debt, housing costs, car payment, car repairs, car upkeep, increased gas cost, classroom supplies - the list goes on. I am fortunate in that I don't have that much debt, but the cost of living swallows up whatever I make. It seems like everything is more expensive every year. I think this is true, but shouldn't inflation be proportional to our paychecks? Anymore, my budget is so tight that it's a luxury - LUXURY - just to go out once in a pay period to a regular (nominal?) restaurant like a TGI Friday's or Olive Garden with my friends. I haven't done this in a very, very long time. VERY LONG. It seems like it's all I can do to buy my groceries and toiletries week to week, let alone go out for a social meal and fellowship with friends. My social meal and friends are at home on the couch with my dog. Hmmmmm. . .
Don't get me wrong. I have a savings account and retirement. I'm not money "dumb," but it just seems harder than ever to manage the finances, you know?
I want the "little" luxuries of dinner with friends, a Green Tea Latte at Starbucks, a night at Barnes and Noble or Books-A-Million, an occasional awesome Christian or Jazz CD or download, and an occasional new book. I want these experiences while I live, but I can't do that AND live - survive - right now.
I haven't done or purchased any of these recently.
I promise.
Ask Green. He knows because we've been on the phone nonstop for practically two months. : )
Well, there you go. It's not earth-shattering. I haven't solved the National Debt.
These are just my three issues that I'm trying to muddle through and get some clarity on.
Any thoughts or suggestions???
***************************************
Green in Blue:
Can I say AGAIN how much I like Green???
I will anyway even without permission.
This part should probably be green, but talking to him feels like the beauty of the blue sky.
Crisp.
Clear.
Refreshing.
Invigorating.
Enlivening.
Mental Cob-Web Cleansing.
Limitless.
Awwww. . . .Yes.
Limitless.
8 comments:
on fp: I'm glad she's decided to take the plunge into bloggerland but is that really the reason why???
on failure: you are not a failure by any stretch.
it's hard to keep a dof when you live in an apartment and work all day.
phone: don't I feel honored? Your relatives feel your ignoring them because they don't see email on the same level as a phone call? That's their issue, not yours. They just have to DWI.
finances: unless you're rich, financial struggles is something we all deal with, believe me. And you know where I'm coming from!!
on moi: you can throw compliments my way without permission or apology any time you like.
yes, "dof" is a typo for "dog", wise guy...
Green, You're my Sweetie!
Thanks for the uplift!
Why I joined Blogger (a short & sweet clarification): Esther & I used to be right next door at school...i could chat between class, during planning, anytime I wanted. Now that she has moved to the other side of the building, our plannings are at different time, it is soo hard to find time to small talk, let alone talk about anything of substance (which I missed so much-she is such a great friend). Last week I went to her myspace page and it lead me to this blogging community. What a great way to stay in touch I thought. It is much easier to keep intouch with her through the written language than on the phone.
Failures??? Esther...I know what your going through right now, but you are the best thing that could have happened to Riley.
If people are angry with the way you communicate with them...family or not...I would re-evaluate WHY I communicate with them. If you love them (fine), but if it's simply because they are family...I learned awhile back that just because people are family doesn't mean you have to stay close. Family should be people who love you no matter what (Good friends and it seems like you have made some wonderful new ones right here).
As for TGIF...why don't I treat you to a nice dinner one night this week. We can catch up on all things girly, stupid, fun, and serious. I love ya Esther!
well, fp it's good to see you here on blogger, which really is a fun community of good people.
and yes, definitely take Esther out for dinner sometime this week to catch up on life. I'm sure you two good friends will have lots of fun.
ahh...a wise man once said, "You can choose your friends, but you cannot choose your family." If the family cannot keep in touch via e-mail, with the occasional phone call, their loss.
It is sooo hard to handle being single, working and having a new dog. Nearly impossible. So, if you are making any progress, you are indeed doing quite well!
Welcome to our world, FP! Hope you like it here!
I can't wait till you and Green meet, Esther! I am soooo excited for both of you!
Green: You lift me up!
Fondue: Thank you for your kind words! I hope you know I didn't write what I did, though, for you to feel that you have to take me out to dinner. I would hate that. I want us to go out just to get caught up and laugh and fellowship.
DB: I can't wait either, but I'm having to wait. As Green says, we are having to DWI right now - Deal With It! Ugh. I've never wanted to meet someone so much in my life.
Something tells me you like Green. :-)
The phone is the big monster in these long distance relationships. Wayne and I have been conversating on the phone so long, it's way beyond getting old. Sometimes we do webcams but he's technologically challenged so that doesn't work so well. Just learn that comfortable silence between the two of you... Although if I ever need to fill a silence, all I have to do is get him talking about politics or current events and he's off like a marathon runner!
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